Friday, November 9, 2012

Peter Pan and NeverLand

"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up."
John C. Maxwell.

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."
-JM Barrie, Peter Pan

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I am tired of hearing or saying "maybe", "eventually", "I will try", and "hopefully". These are not terms to keep away a sense of failure. In fact, they actually encourage failure as they remove your responsibility for ultimate decisions. If you do not want to beat yourself up about a failure, use your coping mechanisms. If you do not have appropriate coping mechanisms, take the steps needed to develop those! It is not rocket science and I am tired of seeing this used as a scape goat. Or the phrasing of a promise being used to turn it into something meaningless and legalistic. 

Every body has their flaws and failures. Saying, "I will do whatever I can to make my vision or my goal a success" is not saying that if, at the end of the day, you have fallen a step behind or had a set back that you have failed. It is saying, "you know what? I'm not done yet." I have a tendancy to fall into a "why bother" mentality. This is poisonous. I recognize this and I'm trying to change it. Oh wait. There is that word. Try. No I`m not trying. I AM changing it. It just might take me a little longer than I expected. I take responsibility for my failure, for the people I might have hurt in that momentary lapse of control or the events I might have changed. 

"Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the see of either success or failure in the mind of another."
-Napoleon Hill

My guy drives me crazy with the "I can't promise anything but I'll try" philosophy he has. He wants to know that he has not committed to doing something so that if he wants an out or a way around something he has it. When he says "I'll try" I assume he really means that it may or may not ever happen, because his attempts are often surface level (but not all of the time... so it is safer to assume the negative). He is setting himself up to fail at trying, because he now has no real responsibility to actually see something through or complete something. 

Ie: I will try and make it to my doctors appointment translates to, I will call somebody I know has an business meeting that day to see if they can give me a ride. If they can't, at least I tried to get a ride to the appointment. 

Because if he legitimately tries to get a ride to that appointment, and there isn't someone who can drive him, he is going to feel trapped that he can't just get himself there. Or, if he does get a ride and that appointment tells him something negative like he has an infection or something (sorry, its was an example I pulled out of no where so I'm not so organized with it) he is going to wish he hadn't gone because what he doesn't know can't hurt him. 

However, that sense of failure or entrapment is his own attitude. He would chose to look at the negative, not the positive. Not, oh well I can reschedule and everything will be fine. Or, alternately, at least I found out now and can treat it.

For anyone who uses these terms, I would like you to take a moment and check your motivation. I know I need to do that daily! Do you use them because you legitimately mean there is a chance, or you're going to try your best at something? Or are you saying it because it is absolving you of responsibility if you fail? Here's the thing. Failure is not permanent. So if that is why you are doing it, please stop. Chose silence over words you don't mean or make that commitment to following through! The time something is permanent is when you make it so. Life will give you and infinite amount of options. Not all of them will be good, and not all will be bad. All failure does is weed out one of the negative options and show you a positive one!

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill

Monday, November 5, 2012

November Madness

"Write me of hope and love, and hearts that endured."
Emily Dickinson

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Well. Evening is perhaps a mis-statement as it is currently 1 am. I have to be awake and active in less than 7 hours and I still have at least one more hour before I can lay my head on the pillow. I am relatively unconcerned about my sleep pattern being disrupted tonight, however, as I do happen to have tomorrow evening off of work.

It is November all ready. I know that a few weeks ago I made a post detailing my upcoming posts. I then followed through with only one of them. I am going to make good on those other articles. November will also be the month I bring my views to over a thousand. I started this approximately six months ago. My views were very good for the first two months but have slowly declined and I really have no one to blame but myself. After all, I went from posting regularly, and with thought to nothing but the occasional update.

Tonight, I'm going to tell you about NaNoWriMo- specifically about my novel choice.


Working Title: River Winds Blow

Genre: Historical Fiction

Synopsis: Six young women who find their homes in 19th century New Orleans struggle to reconcile personal happiness with the roles that society want to conform them to. Claire struggles to please her family and abusive husband who demand she become a near perfect mother and wife. Elizabeth, American and new to Louisianna, is attempting to force herself into Creole upper class fighting for recognition and position. Helene walks the line between the good daughter and needing to flee to a foreign land to escape her emotions and a completely inappropriate liaison with the bastard son of a Frenchman. Marguerite is fooled by a childhood crush and left alone with a newborn infant bereft of family or support. Caroline ignores the possibility of a well off position as Quadroon mistress and the knowledge that her children could eventually become established merhants and businessmen for a boy running away from his controlling family and heading for the seas. Bridget, an Irish immigrant raising her four younger siblings struggles to understand why she seems to be the only one struggling with provide stability for them, and whether their arrival in New Orleans is the source of the majority of their misery.


Each section of story features a different character, but they also set up the next section. The goal is that the end of the month will bring 30 sections, and three years of character developments. I feel extraordinarily under qualified to write this story, but I suppose revision and a really good proofing after the second draft will help fix it right up.

 I'm a full day behind schedule and if I don't finish on time, I lose the competition aspect of this month. I feel like I did lots of character work, and I do know where I want each character to be at the end of the tale but I do not know how to get them from here to there. Wish me luck, and if I have any semblance of sanity left at the end of the month I promise to work on improving my blogs!

 For the few of you that do check this regularly, keep the faith. I haven't abandoned this place!